I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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