sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
