Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Randomize
