After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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