We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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