Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So vagazzling was a success
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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