Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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