Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
