There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
