do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
