My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize