11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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