When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
