Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
