I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The air was thick with penises
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
