Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
