David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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