I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
