Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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