We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
