dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
