I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
