I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
