You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
