i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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