I puked a lego.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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