Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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