yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
