i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
