I wish I could teleport
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
