haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
