I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
