You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
handjob tips. give me some.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
