im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
