I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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