i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
