Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
