After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
