If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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