I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
