Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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