i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
