i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
