community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
