I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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