put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
