I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Lo siento on account of my penis...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
