READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
