yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
