Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need water and some morals
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
