im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize