Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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