It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
