i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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