just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
