conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
