Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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