all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
