i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
